Jokes English

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◄ A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up. Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"

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◄ A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke? e B: Ok . A: A white horse fell in the mud.

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◄ ?" JACK: "Would you punish me for something I didn't do " TEACHER:" Of course not. ." JACK: "Good, because I haven't done my homework

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◄ Teacher: How can we get some clean water? Student: Bring the water from the river and wash it.

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◄ A: Meet my new born brother. B: Oh, he is so handsome! What's his name? A: I don't know. I can't understand a word he says.

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◄ Q: What has 6 eyes but can't see? A: 3 blind mice.

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◄ Q: Where do you find giant snails? A: On the ends of their fingers.

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◄ Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"

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◄ A man receives a phone call from his doctor. The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news." The man says, "OK, give me the good news first." The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live." The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?" The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

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◄ Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". Student: I is the.... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

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◄ Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies? Student: I don't know. Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from? Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

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◄ The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

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◄ Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No.

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◄ On day, a man was riding a horse when he passed a dog on the road. “Good morning,” the dog said. “I didn’t know dogs could talk,” the man said. “Neither did I,” the horse said.

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◄ “ I snored so much and so loud that I used to wake myself up” a man told his friend. “ What did you do about it?” his friend asked. “ Oh,” the man said, “ now I sleep in the next room and I don’t hear a thing.”

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◄ Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ? A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.

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◄ Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

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◄ A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

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◄ Interviewer to Milionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?" Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife." Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?" Millionaire: " Billionaire"

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◄ last winter, the cow caught such a bad cold that she gave ice cream instead of milk.

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◄ There’s a man who has such big feet that when it rains, he lies down and uses them as umbrellas.

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◄ “ I snored so much and so loud that I used to wake myself up” a man told his friend. “ What did you do about it?” his friend asked. “ Oh,” the man said, “ now I sleep in the next room and I don’t hear a thing.”

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